After divorce, it can take some time to get into new routines with your children and your ex-spouse. Where and when will the kids stay with each parent, who will take them to their activities and how will expenses be handled are just some particulars to work out.
An ex-spouse that acts vindictive or spiteful can present a stressful challenge for you and your children.
Otherwise, these three tips might help diffuse the situation.
- Take the High Road
You’ve heard the old saying, “take the high road.” That’s exactly what you need to do when your ex-spouse is engaging in retaliatory behavior. If your ex is trying to involve you in a conflict, don’t respond. You don’t have to answer their calls, texts or emails if they are just trying to embroil you in battle. Tell them you’ll be happy to have a civil conversation about matters after they’ve cooled off.
- Don’t Listen to Hurtful Words
When an ex retaliates, they want to hurt you emotionally. They know just the right things to say to hurt your feelings. Don’t take the bait. The conflict will most likely dissipate if you don’t react to what was said.
- Don’t Use Your Kids as Leverage
One of the worst things you could do after a divorce is to put your kids in the middle of conflicts between you and your ex-spouse. No matter how you feel about your ex, they are still the parent of your children. If your ex is acting vindictive, that’s between the two of you. Don’t involve your children, and don’t let your ex involve them either.
The year right after your divorce can be the most challenging, but in time, bad feelings will hopefully pass, and you can maintain a polite co-parenting existence.